I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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