How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
no, he came in my armpit
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
