im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
