let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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