I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
