brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
