I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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