When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Randomize
