But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Jerry, you need to find god
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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