So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
