haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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