Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
