We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
