come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize