I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
