I want to stick my p in your. b.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
