tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
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your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
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When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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