I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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