i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
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Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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