Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
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I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
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He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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