and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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