Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Randomize
