Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
