Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
