Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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