you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
