Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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