Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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