If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
