Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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