A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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