Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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