remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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