hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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