i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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