I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
