dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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