Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
