he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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