So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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