Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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