My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
