I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Are my feet made of real feet?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
