omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
