my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize