so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
