Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
