hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he puts the penis in happiness.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
