Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
