If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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