My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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