I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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