I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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