I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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