The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize