I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
