Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize