"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize