Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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