wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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