so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
