I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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