grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
God I need to hump something, right now.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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