she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
