Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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