What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
